Hey, guys! I am quite nervous to post this, but I also know that who stays and still reads my content are the people I would want to be here supporting me. As many of you may or may not know, I came out to my parents as a bisexual woman about ten months ago (it will be a year on Black Friday). And along with that comes questions and concerns about being a Christian and being gay and all of that jazz, so I just wanted to discuss that a little bit and share my own personal experiences. So without further ado, let’s get into it!
Sexuality – What does that even mean??
This is generally whom you are sexually attracted to. Men can be attracted to other men, women can be attracted to women, both women and men can be attracted to both sexes, some can not use sex as a criteria for whom they are attracted to (some people are attracted to cisgender men and/or women as well as gender fluid, nonbinary and transgender people), some have no sexual attraction to anyone (they don’t experience sexual attraction), some are only attracted to the opposite sex, etc. The list goes on and on. However, this isn’t set in stone. Sexuality is very fluid, in my opinion.
What about one’s sexual orientation?
This is usually how, if one so chooses, the person identifies or labels themselves. This is obviously linked to your sexuality, but they are not one in the same. Some do not wish to identify themselves (or “label” themselves) at all, sometimes using the term “Queer”, sometimes not. This is very individualized, and you can change the way you view yourself and your sexual orientation at any time. People change and so does sexuality. It is a very natural process.
There are so many “labels” that are tied to specific sexual attraction or lack thereof that society has defined, but again, this is very individualized to you. This is by no means universal and by no means a complete list. There is a complete list linked here, which is really great and I highly recommend checking that out!
But some of the ones many people might or might not know are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, pansexual…, etc.
So what are you, Allie?
This is kind of a difficult question to answer. My sexuality is incredibly fluid. It is not set in stone. I originally identified as bisexual, and I believe that was my sexuality then. However, people change and so does sexuality. I believe I am sort of in the middle of everything. I still am trying to figure myself out, so I currently am identifying as a queer woman. I personally have no desire to enter a relationship with a man at this point in my life, but I don’t think I will completely rule that out. I just am mostly attracted to women, but I also am attracted to nonbinary and gender fluid people. That is how I currently identify, and it feels right to me.
Are you still a Christian?
I am completely and one hundred percent still a Christian. Do I identify as baptist? I honestly have no idea. I have no affiliation at this point with any one denomination. I was raised a Christian and living my truth and embracing who I really am does not change or take away from that. I still believe Jesus died on the cross for everyone, that God is love, that Jesus rose on the third day and he is preparing a place for me. I believe Jesus loves me. I believe Jesus loves gay people. I believe Jesus loves homosapiens. I do not believe being gay is a sin.
How can you be both gay and a Christian?
This is the question that is unfortunately thrown at me by a lot of people. One of those people is the pastor from my parent’s church who had the audacity to message me on Facebook and question why I love who I love. And I am being super upfront about this in my interpretation of a two-thousand-year-old book. Does Paul not say in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “…The old has passed away; behold, the new has come”? Interpretation is widely debated, but this is my own personal interpretation and many may not agree with it, but its how I interpret it so take it however you want to. This is probably radical in nature compared to many Baptist and denominational ideologies, but I personally take that to mean the old law. And by the old law, I mean the Old Testament. The same “law” in Leviticus 18 that says homosexuality is an “abomination” says you can’t see your wife naked while she’s on her period because it is “unclean” and you basically can’t see anyone naked ever (other than your wife on super special occasions, apparently) and say “Oh My God.”
I would say its super dated. Especially since all of that fun stuff is preceded by this “law” presented in Leviticus 17 that says you can’t eat red meat. And guess what my dad does for a living! That’s right. He’s a meat cutter. Guess what he mostly cuts? Red meat. Guess what he mostly eats? Red meat. Guess who doesn’t see that as a sin? My father. You can’t just pick and choose what parts of the Old Testament you like and what you don’t. Things change! If within the same book (that was written thousands of years ago), one thing is fine today and you try to say the next thing is wrong, that is a double standard. It’s not a buffet, people. It’s either correct or out of date. I personally believe it is very out of date.
Side note: I would love to see one Christian point me to the place in the Bible when Jesus himself (as in words in red) actually says homosexuality is super wrong and an abomination. Go ahead. I’ll wait. (And just saying sexually immoral behaviors does not count)
What about “Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve”?
Thank you, for sounding like a 1950’s slogan for the “traditional family.” I think I’ve already won if that’s your chosen argument against being gay. I mean, its homosapien not heterosapien, Y’all.
And yes, I’m looking at you, Dad.
What scripture do you live by then?
I believe in the New Testament, namely the Gospel (you know, the part where Jesus is actually there and it’s not just some educated guesses from old men on how we should live our lives), and I govern myself through many scriptures, but I love one particular one, which I think everyone should try to follow as well.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
–John 13:34, ESV
And there you have it! I honestly am surprised if you made it through this entire thing, but I am happy if you did. I hope you all can take something away from this and have gained some insight into myself and how I end up balancing my faith with my sexuality.
Now I want to turn it over to you! Please feel free to chime in with your own experience, any questions you have for me (I do reply to every comment!) or anything you think I should have included. If you want to see more posts like this, let me know! Please do keep it civil. I understand these are very controversial topics being discussed here, but please do not personally attack anyone in the comments. Keep an open mind and heart. But that is going to be it for this discussion post today. Thank you all so much for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it, and I will see you next time!